Memory Lane…is not always good

So… I really began questioning my parenting this past week at lunchtime.. Hank was stuffing his mouth full of food as always and I said, ” Hank, don’t do that please, small bites..remember when you choked on that hamburger?” Petrified of choking and/or me gagging him with my index finger again, he spit his whole mouth full of corn dog out and yelled “NOOOO” with a horrific face, I really began to wonder, ‘How many times a day do I really say…”Remember When..” to try and stop my children from doing stupid things..??’ Then I again asked myself…. why do I have SOO many of these ‘Remember When’ times? Am I an absent mother??

I really began to take notice as to what I was acctaully reminiscing about when trying to teach my children lessons. With growing concern as to the arsenal of memories my children have, I have been on a mothergoose spree of trying my hardest not to bring about horrid memories of choking on hamburger, or tumbling down the slide, or flying out of the crib on a ramp made of stuffed animals. I feel as if reminding my children of these times only invokes a little PTSD and also gives them ammunition, now that they’re older and a lot more smart assy (

As if checking out at Walmart wasn’t hard enough with the endless wall of damn as seen on TV toys and gadgets, and the person ahead of you who grabbed 3 pairs of undies with no tag on them ( ew ) and the 1 manager to 7,968 employees makes his way from the break room in India, and the lady behind you is figiting around like she either has to pee, or just did a line off the toilet..and did i mention that’s the only check out of the 46 lanes they have open? and of course it’s on the complete opposite side you parked….woah, got a little off topic there,…Anyway, while I say all those terrible things about people in line, one dreaded day, that became me..Marina had just checked out in front of us with her 16 laundry baskets, 2 clearance water bottles and a kit kat, I was up.. mind you we had all 3 kids, and the dang laundry baskets took up ALL the room in the cart..forcing Stella and Hank to hang off the sides of the cart like Tarzan and jane.. Finn is just big enough to be strapped in the seat up top by the 18 alarm, 14 buckle, fingerprint release cart cover, so I began to check out as Marina was loading the bags into my cart… I heard a little fighting between Tarzan and jane and asked them politely to stop , gave the lady behind me who was now rolling her eyes a quick ‘sorry, kids will be kids smile’ and went back to the pin pad to accidentally hit cancel instead of credit and restart the whole damn process over, when I hear eye rolling woman and the cashier yell ” OH MY GOODNESS!!”….Mortified to turn around because 99% chance that Hank had something to do with it, I slowly spun to find that Stella had jumped off her side of the cart and Hank had towered to the ground and pulled the cart on its side on top of him… :X
I find that in these situations, it’s inappropriate to take a quick picture before you help you child, even IF he WAS laughing hysterically and not hurt, but people tend to frown upon it.. 😦

Marina and I got the ole embarrassed ” OH Hank, he gets a little crazy around nap time..” routine.. grabbed our receipt and SKATED the hell outta there..Hence, leaving me with the remember when..” Hank please don’t ride the cart like a bull, remember when it fell on you?”

There a quite a few I use on Hank more often than I care to admit.. “Remember when you ate all that old popcorn?” “Remember when you hit your head?” ” Remember when you flung off the rubber donkey?” “Remember when you pinched the dogs butt?” ” Remember when you got inside the fridge?” I guess fear is the best teacher.. but seriously? where in the hell was I when my child climbed inside the fridge?

Don’t be fooled, Stella has quite the list herself.. “Remember when you climbed in the toy cart?” (what is it with my kids and carts? ) ” Remember when you ate dry wall?” “Remember when you threw all of our shoes away?” “Remember when you tumbled down the slide?”

One in particular that I hope to never use again was the time she was like 18 months and Marina and I were cleaning her room and organizing tubs with old clothes in it when Stella was happily playing in the crib.. and mind you..the matress was the lowest it could go because she may or may not have already tried to climb out of it.. Soo as soon as we sat on the floor to take a break ( aka scarf Doritos and diet coke) we noticed Stella was running full force in he crib and unsure as to what the hell she was doing before we knew it Stella was supermaning out the end of the crib.. YES, my 18 month old was hands in front and stiff as a board hurdling out the side of her crib and landed face up in a huge pile of clothes…. :X


Literally stunned with shock I couldn’t move as Marina flew over to scoop her up and examine the (Laughing hysterically, {seriously, do I have adrenaline junkies for kids??} ) Stella…. Marina and I wondered how such a little body could have gotten so high up to clear a 4 ft. crib, we found a startling discovery in the crib… my 18 month old thought to round up all 52 of her stuffed animals into a ramp like pile that she leaped off of while swan diving into the air.. Hence..”Stella..Remember when you flung out of the crib?”


I mean it’s fine right? To remind our kids of things that didn’t work out for them before.. Or is it too traumatic and unresponsible of me to admit I let these things happen??? Hey, it’s time to realize we cannot be there 24/7 to stop bad things from happening. It is simply a time to take a lesson from it, and move on.. mom: utilize the 100 count box of socket covers and Stella: don’t put keys  in them..= “Stella, remember when you kicked the breakers when you stuck the key in the outlet?


All of these moments were simply lessons in life, to both them and I.. them.. don’t try stupid shit, and to me PAY more attention!


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